The Spiritual side of Cancer

"Pregnant With My Good Red Road"

4' X 8', oil on board 

The Spiritual Side of Cancer 

Chapter One: The Solution is Within the Problem

Finding The Solution To Cancer Through Art-Making

I see two spiritual sides to cancer: one is personal and the other is collective. Here is a one element concerning the personal side that worked for me in terms of healing from cancer and many other challenges..

First of all, knowing that I am an eternal being, I know that any darkness in my life contains within it the light. The solution to any problem is within the problem. That’s hard to describe in more words because words are so left brained and so inadequate to indicate truths. So at times, when I’m just using my left brain I can’t comprehend those words—“the solution is within the problem.”  However, when I am in my right brain—functioning from there, I am connecting with my Inner Being—my Higher Mind and Self. That part of me knows what that means—“the solution is within the problem”—and how to access and use it.

So to access a fuller understanding of those words as relates to cancer I can do things that will trigger a shift to the right hemisphere of the brain—thereby giving me better access to Higher Wisdom. One of the best ways, for me to do this is to make art. When I say this to others the frequent response is—“Oh I couldn’t do that. I can’t draw a straight line.” And if I say, “Everyone can make art,” I get dubious looks or even angry denial “No! I cannot!”

So if you can't draw a straight line--make a scribble! Make it ugly. Allow it to express your feelings. Use any medium: paint, pencil, charcoal, pastels, ink, magic marker. Take a fat black magic marker and scribble your feelings about having this illness.

So, anyone can make "art." However, the problem here is that the person hearing those words—“You can make art,” associates art with pictures and sculptures in museums and galleries.  They might recall getting D’s in art in grammar school. Or they might even recall making art as a child, and having their art compared with another’s art, or criticized or laughed at. After that they learned to compare their own to others—and always to the diminution of their own art. Then they stopped trying. Very sad.

So there may be a lot of old false programming of beliefs around art-making to get over. But every child knows how to play with paint or clay (or found objects, stones, fabric etc.) and to like what they create—without looking at anyone else’s, or listening to a teacher (or inner critic) who tries to disparage or correct them.

 I highly recommend that people forget all they think they know about art, art-making and artists and just allow it to be playing with color and form. Get some paints and paper --card or cover stock is nice. And get some magic markers or a box of children’s water colors or poster paint, and just start playing with it. If you use paper with watercolor, you might like to tape it to the table or a clipboard with masking tape first. Or better yet—buy some good water color paper.  Then shut off the left brain critic and judge and just have at it. I suggest that people just do, just enjoy as a child does, and shut the critic out. Make a mess deliberately if you like—and then love it. Be proud of it. Do it again and again. Soon the process will shift you to the right brain and when done with your art, you can, from there, ask your Inner Being, your wise Self, why you have cancer and what the solution is. Apply the answer. Write down the answer in a journal; and go on making art day after day-- just for fun.

Thus art-making can put you in a right brain state, and from there you can more easily see how... 

the solution is within the problem. 

If you need more clarification try this: make a line drawing of this Vesica Piscis symbol:

Then imagine that the large outer circle is your Divine Self, Your Inner Being, Your Higher Self -- whatever you like to call your vast Self. Imagine that the almond shape in the center (called The Mandorla) is the solution. Imigine that one of the smaller circles is healthy you and the other is sick you. The almond shape suggests that there is a lowest common denominator between the two you's.  

For example, lets say you have breast cancer. You should think about what the breasts stand for , symbolically...Nurturing? Let's call it nurturing. So healthy you likes to nurture others ...AND YOUR SELF.  But the unhealthy you has been taught to forget herself and just nurture others! So the center represents  nurturing balanced between self and other. But having this illness tells you you are out of balance. So now draw the Vesica Piscis symbol again, but make the inner circles represent how much you nurture yourself and how much you nurture others. The "others" circle will be larger.

Now study these two out of balance circles and write inside of each what you do in the way of nurturing -- yourself and others. Are they in balance? And the balance may change from day to day. One day you might feel like just nurturing yourself-- for one day, one month, one year, one lifetime! You choose.

Your Inner Child is an excellent source of truth--true feelings. So ask your inner child for guidance through out this exercise. And trust her. She is the part of you that is mostly closely connected to your Inner Being--that most wise part of yourself. Her feelings are your truest feelings. We have culturally inculcated feelings too, but set those aside for now. Examine them later for Truth according to your Inner Child. Her feelings are messages from your Inner Being. You can absolutely trust them.

So now can you see that the solution is within the problem? The problem, in this case was being out of balance around the issue of nurturing. Your cultural beliefs were in conflict with your True Knowing, which comes from your Inner Being via your Inner Child. 

The final step is to act on your new beliefs and understanding about "nurturing." You could start cutting back or even eliminating all the places in your life where you are doing too much for others. 

I had breast cancer and was extremely out of balance around the issue of nurturing. I was always giving and trying to get rid of free floating guilt by over-giving. It wasn't working. It was just creating justifiable resentment in my Inner Child. And I ended up eliminating ALL of the things I was doing for others, except for raising my two small children. I stopped working and went on welfare for  2.5 years. It was so healing! The mass in my breast disappeared within days of my revelation, and has never returned. I was 28 then. I am 77 now.

It was soon after my revelation that I miraculously was able to move to a beautiful new home in the country, that cost only $500 a month. And I discovered a federal program that would pay even that, since I had no income. I began painting  a great deal, ( I painted the polar bear at the top of this page to express my ferocious protectiveness around my new spiritual understanding, since most people did not understand it and would deride it.) I also began writing. I spent a great deal of time in Nature and began to have truly magical events happen in that developing relationship. It took a few years to really work my healing revelation into my whole life, but as I did, I became healthier and healthier. The basic issue was 

EMOTIONAL HONESTY WITH MYSELF AND OTHERS. Both were done kindly.

Eventually I grew to have perfect health. At 77 I use no medicines--either conventional or alternative--and I use no doctors or hospitals or even alternative healers. If I get a slight symptom of illness I heal my self using the Vesica Piscis Method. That's all I need. I nip it in the bud, and never get sick.

MARRIAGE--CAUSE OF CANCER?

June 25, 2018
I wrote the letter below to my grandchildren who are 18 and 21. It was to clarify some blunt advice I had given them about getting married--as in DON'T! My daughter and my 18 yr old grandchild were over for tea, to help me celebrate my 73rd birthday, yesterday and we discussed it.

Then this morning I awoke with the  knowing that marriage --as it exists in our current Western (now world wide) paradigm-- can be very cancer causing.

Most marriage vows and expectations of marriage  cause people to become emotionally dishonest, which distances them from their Divine Inner Being. And that is very dangerous--the most dangerous thing one can ever do. Our emotions come from our Inner Being who is the source of our life! So when we squelch them we pinch ourselves off not only from good communication with our Inner Being--the center of our existence--but also from the source of the energy that gives us life!

So as we adopt limiting beliefs--such as embedded in many marriage vows--we diminish our relationship with our Inner Being who is God and who is Truth. As the truth begins to dawn on the newly weds they begin to lie to themselves and each other. I recall that for the first two years of my own first marriage I told myself we were the happiest couple I knew. NOT! We were both very unhappy and were covering it up to ourselves, each other and the world. On the outside we looked like the perfect couple.

But emotional dishonesty or suppression leads to anger and resentment towards the partner. And if that blaming and lying to self continues long enough it can easily cause cancer. The antidote is to get honest with onesself--emotionally--and then with new self esteem make changes in your own life. Don't ask them to change. But know if you change, they will know deep inside that they must change too...or leave. And its okay if they leave, because there is nothing you got from them that you can't get better from your Inner Being. Not love, not money not companionship...nothing. And with your movement into alignment with what your Inner Being knows is Truth, your body will heal.

And if your religion or family bans separation or divorce--then it can go too. It will be replaced by an ever growing relationship with your Inner Being (God).

Below I discuss how and why I believe people very often squelch their honest emotions and pinch themselves off from their Inner Being...when they get married.

Dear  Grandchildren:

I have found myself feeling concerned  about what I recently said to you ...warning you to not get married. And I'd like to clarify my feelings about marriage and hopefully leave you feeling freer about it.

I believe that ALL relationships are perfect, including my own 2 marriages and your Mom's ...and everyone's.  So if you ever feel strongly that you want to marry , know that you have my blessing.

I know that relationships will bring you an opportunity to learn whatever your soul wants you to learn... about yourself. That's spiritual gold and can be taken with you on your eternal journey of expansion...through every lifetime. But one must know that the other is a mirror for you in order to get the gold.

I've heard many people , upon divorce, when asked what they they learned from it , say something like, "I learned to never marry another jerk like him (her, they)!" That's not helpful. The idea is to try and discover what you learned about yourself. And below I'll talk about a good way to that.

But, to continue-- by looking at my own  experience of  marriages,  and watching others' too,  I have noticed that many people make the same mistakes that lead to much unhappiness. However, these can always be  composted for new growth.

It seems to me that our culture holds up relational love as a high ideal. People strive to find it...as if it were an objective state outside of self. They believe it's just a matter of finding the right person out there...when in fact it's an inner condition of just being good at loving. We are supposed to love ourself first, and the other second.

People considering marriage seem to not realize that they (along with their Inner Being, ) are after spiritual gold for themselves, spiritual expansion first and foremost. And the more they are able to experience that, the better they become at loving themselves and  others... and the more valuable they become to all...but most especially to themselves.

We are all One and hold a joint bank account into which our spiritual gold (learning more truth) goes for the use of all.

However,  being in an outer-directed era of human evolution, we think that certain outer conditions will make us happy...like finding Mr. or Ms Right. ( or fame or fortune). They won't. But an Inner Condition of alignment with our Inner Being will.

We can achieve that alignment  by allowing ourselves to feel and follow our deepest most honest emotions. They are messages from our Inner Being. That's inner-directedness. Using intuition helps and that's just about noticing what feels "off" and what feels "on."

But our culture puts heavy pressure on us to conform and be outer-directed like the majority are. They say we must pursue culturally approved ways of living and supposedly being happiest-- including looking for love "out-there" rather than within. They think that looking for happiness within  first conflicts with getting it from the outside. WRONG!

Looking for it within (and eventually finding the all-satisfying love we all deeply desire)  from Inner Being is the best insurance of having outer love find you! You will become a magnet for love.

However, in our outer-directed culture we have romanticized and exaggerated the value of outer love. When we meet someone and the feelings are powerful it is really just that they remind us of  our real Inner Being and its tremendous love for us, and ours for that Beautiful Being. But we project our own Inner Being outward onto the other...and so are powerfully drawn to them.

Unfortunately ,

So it appears to me that what  marriage usually does is demand a committment to NOT CHANGING   and to IGNORING OUR FEELINGS  if they conflict with our staying.

Freedom to explore and change and expand and grow are basic and crucial to human existence...as is emotional self- honesty and the spiritual gold it leads to.

But most times, when people make marriage vows they are trying to hold onto an outer form of marriage. They swear to only be intimate with that one other person forever...til death do us part. And they start to try and suppress honest feelings, of attraction to others, that might rock the boat...just so they can stay together forever.

Many begin to starve spiritually as they pinch themselves off from the true spiritual food they need (feeling honest emotions sent from Inner Being). Next they start to try and feed the hunger with physical food. Many put on extra weight after marriage.

They start to  ignore their feelings and to lie to themselves and their partner about what they are feeling or not feeling. This creates more distance and misalignment with their wise Inner Being--their True Love. Rumi calls his "The Beloved."  But then this emotional shutting down also creates distance with their partner!

So marriage has a false major premis --"This person will provide me with happiness forever." Whereas the true major premise, which most couples don't know, is that their partner came to them to be a mirror for the best and worst IN THEMSELVES. If you see something you like in your partner, know you are seeing something you like in yourself. And if you see something you don't like in your partner, go within and look for that pecadillo in yourself. Change it there...and then watch the outside change. The partner will either drop the pecadillo or...or leave! And that's okay.

So when the honey moon is over ( and the projection of the best in themselves onto other begins to be intermixed with seeing some of what they DON'T like about themselves) they are deeply disappointed. They feel angry, betrayed, let down etc. They blame the other for not being the perfect beloved  (that their own Inner Being actually is!)

Then more trouble ensues: they suppress the anger and resentment and blame because that emotional honesty would certainly sink the marriage boat ...they think.

Maybe it would and maybe it wouldn't But you'll be okay either way if you stay honest.

If the couple force themselves to stay in the external form of the marriage and try to bury the resentment it often leads to cancer (or other diseases) and death. They'd rather die than continue to try to live the soul-insulting lie. And they can't give themselves permission to be honest. Guilt and shame at their "failure" complicates things further.

I have seen this first hand in my Mind Body practice, and in my own life.

So that's why I warned you against marriage. Having said that, there do seem to be a few people who really did intend to spend a lifetime together...from before they were born.And they manage to find a way to be honest with each other...and stay true to themselves.

But , for most,  its all about control of others and outer circumstances and trying to wring happiness from them...and trying to make outer things provide what Inner Bring is meant to deliver.

So now even if you ignore or forget all of this above, I know that you and your Inner Being have it all under control. You'll get what you came for, no matter what your choices are.

But just know that physical or emotional pain usually means you are out of alignment with your Inner Being and they are softly inviting you towards understanding and  beliefs and actions that will feel better to you.

I hope this is useful to you and that my attempt at clarification has been successful.

Love Gramma

2018! Another Self-Healing-from-Cancer-Sucess-Story...with Caveat

 

"No one can save another." The Kin of Ata are Waiting For You

 

"But after that time Augustine refused to do any healing. It was quite definitely 'donagdeo' [off, or out of alignment] she insisted." The Kin of Ata are Waiting for You

Update June 2018
I have been very busy working on my own spiritual growth and on my novel "SJ" for the past couple of years. The book is almost done and hopefully will be an entertaining way for people to learn more about cancer self healing skills. It is a novel based on Steve Jobs' life.

I haven't been taking many clients recently but did take one woman with breast cancer last fall and she is cancer-free now.

Unfortunately, soon after our 2 hour meeting, in which she did uncover the root mental/emotional cause of the cancer, but didn't yet fully realize or understand what she had done, she contacted a psychic healer and had a telephone treatment. It, apparently, was very dramatic and soon after that that she discovered that she was cancer free...and gave the credit to the psychic healer instead of to herself!

This is very sad when this happens. I know that most psychic healers are very well-intentioned. But it is still "donagdeo" or "off."

I used to do psychic healing. And it is very possible to send powerful thoughts of love, health and healing to a person and have them become symptom free. I did it many times and I thought I was doing a good thing. But eventually I realized that I was not giving them anything...in fact I was stealing something extremely very valuable from them...their inner PROCESS!

I was taking away (distracting them from) their god-given ability to know they could heal themselves. I was taking away their power and responsibility (they go together). If a "healer" of any stripe, takes away a person's responsibility, power and process of self-healing, they are also taking away the person's ability to repeat the process for themselves with any other illness or injury they might get in future.

Back then I was treating the illness as if it were an enemy and had no value. I was treating the illness as if it was just something to be gotten rid of...not learned from. But what I eventually came to understand is that the illness is truly a gift...a teacher...an ally. It is meant to be a messenger with the news that somewhere one has picked up a rotten belief that is making one sick. And when one has discovered the true helpful belief then one has not only healed but has added spiritual gold to take with them on their eternal journey.

The rotten belief can be assumed to be one of long-standing if it gets to the stage of producing a life-threatening illness. Probably at least a few years if not most of the life time, the belief has been nurtured and has spread to other healthy parts of the individual's belief system and poisoned and compromised them as well. E.g., "my husband makes me unhappy" can lead to a series of generalizations such as, "other people have control over my life," and "I am powerless," and "Life sucks." "I wish I were dead..." etc.

In this particular case of the woman with breast cancer whom I talked with last fall, I noticed that she had a great deal to say about her husband, much of it expressing negative feelings. However, eventually, after I had repeated back to her her own words, she said "I don't think you like my husband!" I said "I don't know your husband. I am just repeating back to you what you have told me about him and how you feel about him." She was projecting onto me her own feelings that were difficult for her to face. They were unacceptable to her and so she projected them onto me. She was trying to get rid of them, but I refused to accept them as having their source in me. After more discussion though she did face them to a degree--enough to heal herself of cancer. She faced her feelings of anger and resentment and began to better understand her personal power in dealing with him. Recently, I heard from a mutual friend that she had changed her relationship with her husband significantly after our talk. That was what healed her.

However, like most people in our culture she wanted to believe in outside authorities. We want to believe that someone out there knows more about us than we do.  However, we truly  are the experts on ourselves. The other day a friend of mine, who knows this, related an exchange with her doctor that left us both limp with laughter. When she resisted some part of his treatment he said to her, "Who knows more  about you and your health...you or me?" She said "ME!" and walked out. I applauded.

According to Dr. Christiane Northrup  students are literally taught in med school to think of themselves as medical deities. They are taught to be BIG authority figures. Hence when they give a designer diagnosis, or say "its incurable", or "there's a very low chance of survival," they are doing "medical hexing"--a phrase Dr. Northrup contrived for the powerful negative suggestions many doctors give their patients rather than just saying with humility "I don't know." Or "Allopathic medicine doesn't know."

But psychic healers, who are just as well intentioned as most MD's are, are doing a similar thing. They are making powerful positive, authoritative, pronouncements about themselves and their power to heal you. They believe strongly in themselves and the goodness of their goals and methods. They believe strongly in health. And they see the results--people usually heal, but often temporarily , or they contract another disease. Doctors' treatments often end the same way...unless the patient has made some significant change towards the positive  in their emotional/mental life.

As I mentioned above, I know much about this because I used to be there. I recall the shock I got when someone once challenged me and my psychic healing skills by saying it was a bad thing that I was doing. She was pretty judgmental, but it  started me on a line  of thinking that led me eventually to the Vesica Pisces Method of  Self -Healing. The Vesica Piscis is an ancient symbol that tells us "All is within...." including the power to heal ourselves

Everyone can heal themselves of anything. Its a God-Given Power. But sometimes it's nice to have a guide who can help you get in touch with your Inner Being so that that part of YOU can take over your guidance and healing for you. We are meant to work on our health together with our Inner Being in their loving, patient, allowing way. We always end up happier and more empowered when we do this...not to mention physically healed.

I know that eventually my recent client, who now thinks the psychic healer fixed her, will come to know her Inner Being...her Self.... and will discover the true source of every healing she ever encountered in her body... herself/Self.