"Pregnant With My Good Red Road"
4' X 8', oil on board
The Spiritual Side of Cancer
Chapter One: The Solution is Within the Problem
Finding The Solution To Cancer Through Art-Making
I see two spiritual sides to cancer: one is personal and the other is collective. Here is a one element concerning the personal side that worked for me in terms of healing from cancer and many other challenges..
First of all, knowing that I am an eternal being, I know that any darkness in my life contains within it the light. The solution to any problem is within the problem. That’s hard to describe in more words because words are so left brained and so inadequate to indicate truths. So at times, when I’m just using my left brain I can’t comprehend those words—“the solution is within the problem.” However, when I am in my right brain—functioning from there, I am connecting with my Inner Being—my Higher Mind and Self. That part of me knows what that means—“the solution is within the problem”—and how to access and use it.
So to access a fuller understanding of those words as relates to cancer I can do things that will trigger a shift to the right hemisphere of the brain—thereby giving me better access to Higher Wisdom. One of the best ways, for me to do this is to make art. When I say this to others the frequent response is—“Oh I couldn’t do that. I can’t draw a straight line.” And if I say, “Everyone can make art,” I get dubious looks or even angry denial “No! I cannot!”
So if you can't draw a straight line--make a scribble! Make it ugly. Allow it to express your feelings. Use any medium: paint, pencil, charcoal, pastels, ink, magic marker. Take a fat black magic marker and scribble your feelings about having this illness.
So, anyone can make "art." However, the problem here is that the person hearing those words—“You can make art,” associates art with pictures and sculptures in museums and galleries. They might recall getting D’s in art in grammar school. Or they might even recall making art as a child, and having their art compared with another’s art, or criticized or laughed at. After that they learned to compare their own to others—and always to the diminution of their own art. Then they stopped trying. Very sad.
So there may be a lot of old false programming of beliefs around art-making to get over. But every child knows how to play with paint or clay (or found objects, stones, fabric etc.) and to like what they create—without looking at anyone else’s, or listening to a teacher (or inner critic) who tries to disparage or correct them.
I highly recommend that people forget all they think they know about art, art-making and artists and just allow it to be playing with color and form. Get some paints and paper --card or cover stock is nice. And get some magic markers or a box of children’s water colors or poster paint, and just start playing with it. If you use paper with watercolor, you might like to tape it to the table or a clipboard with masking tape first. Or better yet—buy some good water color paper. Then shut off the left brain critic and judge and just have at it. I suggest that people just do, just enjoy as a child does, and shut the critic out. Make a mess deliberately if you like—and then love it. Be proud of it. Do it again and again. Soon the process will shift you to the right brain and when done with your art, you can, from there, ask your Inner Being, your wise Self, why you have cancer and what the solution is. Apply the answer. Write down the answer in a journal; and go on making art day after day-- just for fun.
Thus art-making can put you in a right brain state, and from there you can more easily see how...
the solution is within the problem.
If you need more clarification try this: make a line drawing of this Vesica Piscis symbol:
Then imagine that the large outer circle is your Divine Self, Your Inner Being, Your Higher Self -- whatever you like to call your vast Self. Imagine that the almond shape in the center (called The Mandorla) is the solution. Imigine that one of the smaller circles is healthy you and the other is sick you. The almond shape suggests that there is a lowest common denominator between the two you's.
For example, lets say you have breast cancer. You should think about what the breasts stand for , symbolically...Nurturing? Let's call it nurturing. So healthy you likes to nurture others ...AND YOUR SELF. But the unhealthy you has been taught to forget herself and just nurture others! So the center represents nurturing balanced between self and other. But having this illness tells you you are out of balance. So now draw the Vesica Piscis symbol again, but make the inner circles represent how much you nurture yourself and how much you nurture others. The "others" circle will be larger.
Now study these two out of balance circles and write inside of each what you do in the way of nurturing -- yourself and others. Are they in balance? And the balance may change from day to day. One day you might feel like just nurturing yourself-- for one day, one month, one year, one lifetime! You choose.
Your Inner Child is an excellent source of truth--true feelings. So ask your inner child for guidance through out this exercise. And trust her. She is the part of you that is mostly closely connected to your Inner Being--that most wise part of yourself. Her feelings are your truest feelings. We have culturally inculcated feelings too, but set those aside for now. Examine them later for Truth according to your Inner Child. Her feelings are messages from your Inner Being. You can absolutely trust them.
So now can you see that the solution is within the problem? The problem, in this case was being out of balance around the issue of nurturing. Your cultural beliefs were in conflict with your True Knowing, which comes from your Inner Being via your Inner Child.
The final step is to act on your new beliefs and understanding about "nurturing." You could start cutting back or even eliminating all the places in your life where you are doing too much for others.
I had breast cancer and was extremely out of balance around the issue of nurturing. I was always giving and trying to get rid of free floating guilt by over-giving. It wasn't working. It was just creating justifiable resentment in my Inner Child. And I ended up eliminating ALL of the things I was doing for others, except for raising my two small children. I stopped working and went on welfare for 2.5 years. It was so healing! The mass in my breast disappeared within days of my revelation, and has never returned. I was 28 then. I am 77 now.
It was soon after my revelation that I miraculously was able to move to a beautiful new home in the country, that cost only $500 a month. And I discovered a federal program that would pay even that, since I had no income. I began painting a great deal, ( I painted the polar bear at the top of this page to express my ferocious protectiveness around my new spiritual understanding, since most people did not understand it and would deride it.) I also began writing. I spent a great deal of time in Nature and began to have truly magical events happen in that developing relationship. It took a few years to really work my healing revelation into my whole life, but as I did, I became healthier and healthier. The basic issue was
EMOTIONAL HONESTY WITH MYSELF AND OTHERS. Both were done kindly.
Eventually I grew to have perfect health. At 77 I use no medicines--either conventional or alternative--and I use no doctors or hospitals or even alternative healers. If I get a slight symptom of illness I heal my self using the Vesica Piscis Method. That's all I need. I nip it in the bud, and never get sick.
